Judeans 3 - 0 Men United Reserves
Judeans have linked up with some key KIL legends from the Currah family, Phil Currah, Tom Currah, and Ben Currah, adding strength to a injury weakened side. Alex will be missing from Judeans for quite some time after getting munched in a friendly against Mount Charles last weekend, and getting his leg broken in about 100 places, get better soon Al. Men United were a full strength, with Chudleigh starting in nets for them. Pete Ling had a couple of chances on goal, but these were easily saved by the ever reliable Phil in goal for Judeans. Tom Currah was awarded a free kick, but this was dealt with by Chudleigh, so the first half ended 0 – 0. Time for a tactical change from Men Utd, Chudleigh was replaced in goal by Dan. Pete Ling was looking more threatening in the second half, and Men Utd were looking the most likely to score, but just couldn’t get past the defensive rock of Oleg at the back or convert their chances. With 6 minutes to go, Fabregas, aka Ben Currah put the Judeans 1 – 0 up scoring from a tight angle past Dan in nets. A minute late Ben made it 2 – 0 as he dribbled the ball down the right side of the pitch, took it on the other side of his foot and shot it past Dan, Booooooooooooooommmmmm. Then in the last minute of the match, Judeans gave a free kick away, however managed to steal the ball back and broke away slotted the ball through to Ben Currah who fired it past Dan once more. MoM Ben Currah, 3 shots on goal = hat-trick.
Ben Currah celebrates his hat-trick
Scumbags 2 - 0 Real Egloshayle
The first qualifying game of the campaign saw last seasons Shield finalists facing off with the Bags determined avenge their 2-0 defeat. Geoff watched on crutches from the sideline after getting injured during an epic performance for P6FC. The Scumbags Russian billionaire owner moved quickly to sign up Ben Mitchell, Perranporth’s #1 GK, as his replacement which is quite a sweet signing. For the first time ever Egloshayle turned up with the bare 6 players, amongst those missing were key players Daz Hambley, Ade Pinnock and their greatest ever player Matt ‘Reg’ Mcmahon. Scumbags went 1 – 0 up within the first 2 minutes of the match thanks to duchy 5 top goal scorer Coxy. Cholerton in goal made a rare cock up, as the ball slid underneath him. Both teams looked fairly well matched man for man on the pitch, but Egloshayle just couldn’t find the final through ball. It remained 1 – 0 at the end of the first half, as Egloshayle looked to try and get the game back level. Once again in the second half Egloshayle were linking up well but just couldn’t find the final ball. Scumbags were quite simply looking awesome. Their outstanding game play played off for them when they went 2 – 0 up with a goal from Sam Harper, who left Cholerton flat footed and curled the ball into the top corner. MoM Luke Brown as he was a little pass master.
MoM Luke Brown in action
Smurfs 1 - 0 A-Jax Off Match Pundit Steve Marsh was literally lost for words (I'm not joking either as he was almost reduce to tears during his summary on the dictaphone) after this game as his franchise team A-Jax who currently top the Premiership lost to lower league the Smurfs thanks to a strike from as Steve described it .... Some random hero. Answers on a post card.
Did the Smurfs hardest player Arran Drewett (pictured in action below) bag the winner?
Group B
Rowdies 5 - 0 NIAMOS Spartans
NIAMOS faced a tough challenge in their first cup game, and would need to do something special to over come the might of Chris Bonner’s team of soviet galactico’s in the Rowdies. Spartans played well for the first 5 minutes, before they became undone. It was a Dilley strike that broke the deadlock, with Flappy adopting the Matt Benford style of goal keeping and attempting to karate kick the ball away instead of using the conventional hand technique, and the ball rolled into the back of the net, 1-0 Rowdies. The Rowdies super stars were linking up well, putting the pressure on the Spartans lack of defence (the defensive rock of Julian will be welcomed back). Dilley spooned a clear shot on goal that should have put the Rowdies 2-0 up, much to the amusement of the watching crowd, this was a big mistake as Dilley answered back with a cracking goal, to put them 2- 0 up at half time. The second half kicked off with the Spartans starting a little brighter, especially Le Coc who was displaying the skills which once made him a target for Real Betis back in his glory days at the Tavern. Eggy added a 3rd with the goal of the night, as he pushed forwards into the Spartans half, just as it appeared as if he was going nowhere he took the ball out wide towards the corner flag turned and shot scoring from the tightest of angles. The Spartans lack of effort wasn’t going down very well on the sidelines, with Rikkkkiii and Ben having giving up the ghost. Le Coc was pushing up front again and came close to scoring a couple of times, but apart from that the Spartans were looking more like Tranmere Rovers FC. Scouse got on the scorecard, a missile at Flappy, who was seen cowering and running off the pitch, 4 – 0 Rowdies. Spartans got even worse, if that was at all possible, just walking around the pitch and making no efforts what so ever to defend. Bonner put the final nail in the coffin as he scored past Flappy, a good result for the Rowdies, but a poor display from the Spartans who just didn’t get involved in the game at all. MoM Mickey Thompson aka Scouse, as he was monumental.
Untouchaballs 5 - 0 Wolves (walkover)
Berties 2 - 1 Edgcliff
Edgcliff once again showed up with their army of supporters and numerous subs. The game started off with a great amount of passion as two of the most spirited teams went to battle. It only took a minute for the first real chance of the game to happen when Dean of Berties fame made a great run towards the Edgcliff goal, he found Bendry unmarked, and was allowed all the time in the world on the ball to take a shot on goal, only for Baz in nets for Edgcliff to pull off an outstanding save to deny the Berties Boys. The next 9 minutes of the game were mostly dominated by Berties, with Baz pulling off a couple of brilliant saves to keep the game level, however Edgcliff were managing to challenge on the counter attack to keep the Berties players on their toes. As the clock struck 12 minutes the first goal of the game occurred to break the deadlock. Luke Haynes passed the ball back to Dean Ferguson, who mis-controlled it, allowing Phil Knight to pick the ball up and fire past the Berties GK, leaving the Frosty Jacks powered capacity crowd to go wild, 1 – 0 Edgcliff at half time. Berties came out with a new determination in the second half, and it wasn’t long before this paid off, as Bendry made amends for his poor shooting in the first half, firing the ball in from 20yards, it hit the post and went in past Baz, 1 – 1. Berties once again fired on all cylinders, determined to take all 3 points, and once again it was Bendry who stole the show scoring his second to wrap up the game. Edgcliff were unlucky in this and once again showed an undisputable improvement in their footballing capabilities . MoM Bendry who managed to turn the game around in the second half for the Berties lads.
Frosty Jacks are the proud sponsors of the Edgcliff FC
Group C
Newquay Cosmos 3 - 1 Team Handsome
Keep It Local 0 - 0 Wet Bandits
The Bandits had borrowed wee man for goal keeping duties due to Prentos shin splints (that’s the cover story in reality Prento is actually Newquay’s biggest drunk). Keep It Local welcomed Tom Currah back in action as well as the additions of Gary Standinger to an already strong squad. For the first 5 minutes of the game Wet Bandits dominated with Cruse Missile and Joe Gerrard-Torres-Voronin looking good going forwards, with Phil having to pull off a couple of saves to keep the game level, and also shot one just wide. KIL didn’t drop their heads as they fought back into the game. Oleg came near to scoring as he was passed a through ball, he hit it first time, it beat wee man but hit the cross bar and rebounded back out again. KIL kept up their onslaught for the remainder of the first half forcing wee man to pull off some great saves, and so it remained 0 – 0 at half time. The second half carried on much the same way, with both Bandits and KIL having good chances on goal, but both keepers keeping their teams in the game. Tom Currah had a couple great chances but failed to convert, but the boy is looking good, and should improve with a little help from some WD40. The game remained goalless, and MoM goes to Marc Edmonds who was solid in defence, and squashed the Bandits attacks.
Bandits 'injured' GK Prento in action
Titans 1 - 2 Pups
Group D
YouWantOne.com 5 - 0 Mitchel_Life (walkover)
As Mitchel were recuperating from the Steve Sparkes wedding celebrations they failed to make it to the astro as they were all being retained at Newquay police station for charges of D & D. So YWO were pitted against the Rowdies Reserves for a friendly. They therefore will take a win over Mitchel and a 5 goal advantage. In the friendly YWO suffered from an in-form Scouse who bagged two goals in the first half. The first was a GK error from Si, who came running out of goal, leaving space for Scouse to chip the ball over him. Rowdies didn’t have it all their own way as YWO had shot after shot on target but failed to capitalize with any attempts, as those that hit the target were swatted away by North Korea's #1 keeper Edgar Thompson.
Edgar beats away another YWO strike
Inter Milan 0 - 2 Panthers
The mighty Milan and their revolutionary sweeper free role winger keeper tactics again rolled into town this time for the visit of Grampounds finest the Panthers.The Milan team were missing defensive rock Tony Montana Le Cock so Rob Black had to take on the role of defensive midfield as Milan again began with their now famous 0-1-4 tactics utilising Dan Code in the attacking goalkeepr role. An evenish first half saw chance for both teams with Code getting his token shot on goal after tearing up the pitch. The Panthers had chances but were denied by Code who was actually back in his area. The second hald had barely started when Greg Dunn was played through and rolled the ball into the bottom corner to open the scoring. Milan pressed for an equaliser with Code once more festering around the halfway line. Panthers had several long range efforts including one from their GK Big Phil while Code was AWOL but the all missed the target while a couple of others were desperatly headed out. Tim Hooper virtually ensured the Panthers would claim all 3 points with another finish to the bottom corner to make it 2-0. Dan Armstrong had the best Milan chance but saw Dean Dunn tip his drive onto the x-bar. MoM goes to Milans crazy winger James Ringrose who produced 4 of the most stunning challenges of the evening as well as bamboozling the Panthers defence with his crazy african footwork as he just pips the poor mans Ronaldo Greg Dunn to the accolade.
Group E
Ramrods 5 - 0 Inter Mawgan (walkover)
Ian Beale Sez Appeal (aka Gollywonaldo) 1 - 0 Prep H
Prep H had the added muscle of rugby pro Rob Ley to take on the young guns of the league. The first half contained little footballing action, but more handbags at dawn between the Prep players. Married couple Ben Lawrence and Rikkkkiiii officially announced a trial separation as their bickering reached an all time new high, much to the amusement of ref Marsh. Berry then joined in trying to act as marriage counsellor, only to become involved in the fight too. As the Jerry Springer show continued, the Ian Beale lovers happily took control of the game, and had several chances on goal, which Big Phil managed to keep out. At the half time whistle it was time for Jerry (aka Nick Elliott) to give his half time thought, and spread some love amongst his troops. The soothing, calming words of Cuberts #1 defender paid off as Prep got back into the game at the start of the second half. However, it lasted all of about 4 minutes and 27 seconds. Berry then got his Gucci out and bitch slapped Lawrence, who retaliated with his prada. Enough was enough, time for some maturity, and Rob Ley was welcomed onto the pitch. Ley made the difference, and produced the chance of the night, when he tried his luck almost from the corner, his thundering shot only saved by the underneath of the cross bar. He didn’t give up then, as Berry put his handbag away and started to play some sexy football, back heeling it to Ley, who smashed it towards Josh. Josh was beat, but the sexy Beales were saved once again by the cross bar. With 2 minutes left on the clock Ross Fash Fallons went on a mazy run through the Prep H defence, Big Phil ran out to protect his goal, only for Fash to slip the ball underneath him, 1 – 0 Sexy Beale. MoM Rob Ley for his near goals, and his refusal to get drawn into the bickering of the Prep players.
Golly hitman Ross Fallons after the game pictured on the pull
Prep H owner Greebo resorted to booze to ease the pain of defeat after the game
Millers Mob 3 - 2 NIAMOS Regulators
NIAMOS reserves had just come off the back of a whooping by the Rowdies, and after a games rest and a drumming from Wako Jacko had got their game plan back on track. Millers were missing the Keech who was locked up in the cells, and big hitters Kyle Brown and Scott Flannigan, and so had to draft in Scouse and Scott Arthur for cover. Both teams started off firing on all cylinders with both keepers being tested and forced to pull of some good saves to keep their teams in the game. It must be noted that Flappy had managed to pull of some rather exquisite saves with very little flapping involved. The Regulators went 1 – 0 up in the first half via a Kurt Taylor wonder goal, the ball flew into the top corner, the P6FC top scorer is on fire, scoring just for fun!! Jadon replied for Millers not long after with a low strike which found its way past the rather unflappy flappy, 1 – 1 at half time which reflected well on the game. The second half saw Millers go into the lead after a foul at the back and Regulators conceded a free kick. Up stepped Scouse who had been on the top of his game all night, he shot, he scored, albeit via a deflection, Millers 2 Regualtors 1. Regulators weren’t prepared to take another tongue lashing from Wako, and so stepped up their game with Lawrence and Proberto linking up well upfront. Their game play paid off when Proberto scored passed Sally in goal, 2 – 2. It looked as though a draw was on the cards, then in the dying seconds of the game, up stepped man of the moment Scouse, who smashed a 25-yard shot into the Regulators goal, Flappy didn’t stand a chance. The goal was in contention for one of the best goals ever scored up at the astro, and so Scouse takes the MoM award as well as sealing his PoW award too.
